Tom and Trisha’s Film Club

Oh my, have we got a treat for you… Brilliant fiction regular and First Draft favourite, Trisha Starbrook, shares the piece she performed at our Fan Club event last month. We even have her original illustrations!

Tom and Trisha’s Film Club

If my friend Tom and I were in charge of films and TV shows, they would be much shorter.

I present the films of Tom and Trisha.



A fellow gets bit by a radioactive spider, visits his GP, has the injury drained and gets sent home with bandages to change every three days.

Jurassic Park


Sensibly, the characters evacuate Dinosaur Island in advance of the hurricane. Over a nice cup of tea in Costa Rica, they come to their senses and leave the dinosaurs to their own devices.

No sequels.

The Amityville Horror


Step 1: a loud noise in the house

Step 2: burn the house to the ground

The Lost Boys


Michael never ends up eating maggots because he and his brother take their mom and grandpa to live on a nice farm upstate after they meet Kiefer Sutherland.

Star Wars


Realising the expense-versus-efficiency of rebuilding the Deathstar was not cost-effective, Darth Vader opts to invest in early education instead. He builds a successful empire upon enriching the lives of the young.

The Lord of the Rings


Frodo attaches the ring to a bird and uses Gandalf to tell the bird where to drop it.



You remind me of the babe!

What babe?

The babe with the power.

What power?

The power to stay and live with Jareth because David Bowie is alright really and Sarah was all like “nah” when she saw the Labyrinth.

Star Trek (all iterations)


No away teams, everything is done by FaceTime or isn’t done at all and no one gets to wear red shirts.

Other stuff

If you loved Trisha’s piece, you should totally get yourselves down to one of our upcoming autumn events

Want more like this? Read other pieces we’ve published by our performers on our blog

Follow Trisha and First Draft on Twitter

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